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Puisi: kerinduan yang terbakar

hancurkan semua
jika kelelahan merajai

dan keteguhan telah menjadi kepingan

untuk apa tersiksa
jika kamu bisa membebaskan diri
dari rasa yang mengacaukan

lepaskan semua keluhan
yang tersesak diantara nafas hidupmu
biarkan rasa jujur menjawab
aku dan kamu
sudah tidak kuat bersama lagi

***



aku heran dibuat olehmu
mendekapku dalam ketakutan
yang kau buat sendiri

membuatku takut
agar kamu bisa menolongku

ataukah ini yang ingin kau disebut
"akulah pahlawanmu"
***


Jangan pernah mau dibilang olehku

karena aku berkata
kadang berbohong

aku berbisik
dengan teriakan hati

aku mau semuanya
padahal hanya kamu disisiku
yang kumau

semua hanya ilusi
cukup kamu disini
sampai tua
mendengarkan cerita kita
***


rasanya seperti kemarin sore
aku menyeduh teh hangat untukmu

dan diam-diam
mendengarkan cerita 
diam-diam
tertawa
dan diam-diam menyimpan
segelas rasa
yang aku seduh sendiri
dan meminum sendiri
memilukan hati
dan hanya itu yang aku lakukan

akhirnya kamupun diam-diam
menghilang dibawa angin waktu
tidak terasa
sudah dipelaminan
bersama orang yang diam-diam
juga menyukaimu
***

aku belum bisa jujur
dan sepertinya aku tidak akan jujur
karena kejujuran ini
menghilangkan aku
darimu
dan aku tidak mau itu
biarkan saya berbohong
untuk bersamamu

***

kamu marah, kemarin
marahlah!
setelah itu
cintai aku kembali
dan lebih
karena aku mencintai kemarahanmu
***

Tidak seindah
lagu itu
dan tidak semanis doi
cukuplah
moment ini terbaik untuk kita
***


dimana lagi kamu mau mencari
si gadis yang kamu impikan
Jika orang tua sudah merestui kita
mengapa, selalu ada salah?
karena kita memang butuh kesalahan
agar kesadaran terbangun
kita saling menguatkan
***


sudah! sudah! berhentilah
aku juga akan berhenti
kita sama-sama berhenti
menuduh

***



aku. aku. aku. aku
aku gagap disebelahmu
aku. aku. aku. aku
aku ingin berkata
sayangnya, 
aku. aku. aku
aku tidak bisa
aku. aku. aku. aku
bagaimana ini?
***


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